Narcissism - What is The Golden Child Syndrome?What is a 'golden child?'
Why is a golden child created? What happens to the golden child? |
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The scapegoat & golden child syndrome
It's no secret that narcissistic parents crave to maintain their sense of superiority. The craving is so instinctual, that in order to maintain it, the narcissist naturally creates two containers within their mind. These containers hold their:
What people mentally visualize usually manifests in their lives one way or another, and so, for the narcissist, this tends to be the very thoughts and desires held within their mental containers mentioned above. The narcissist's manifestation can be seen from how they psychologically comb their children and manipulate them into dropping their original identities for chosen roles, which of course, is to cater for their own emotional needs and distorted perspectives. The identity roles that narcissists create in their children are called the scapegoat and golden child.
Since the scapegoat and golden child represent a different container within the narcissistic parent's mind - the purpose of their roles are vastly different. For this reason, the scapegoat and golden child often experience completely different realities whilst growing up under the same roof.
- Psychological shadow - All of their negative qualities that a narcissist denies and rejects. (directed towards the scapegoat).
- Narcissistic grandiosity - The accumulation of their feelings of superiority (directed towards the golden child).
What people mentally visualize usually manifests in their lives one way or another, and so, for the narcissist, this tends to be the very thoughts and desires held within their mental containers mentioned above. The narcissist's manifestation can be seen from how they psychologically comb their children and manipulate them into dropping their original identities for chosen roles, which of course, is to cater for their own emotional needs and distorted perspectives. The identity roles that narcissists create in their children are called the scapegoat and golden child.
Since the scapegoat and golden child represent a different container within the narcissistic parent's mind - the purpose of their roles are vastly different. For this reason, the scapegoat and golden child often experience completely different realities whilst growing up under the same roof.
What is the scapegoat identity?
The scapegoat is the one whose psyche is 'broken in' from an early age by the routine gas-lighting of their narcissistic parent into feeling massive shame and guilt for their dysfunctional family's problems. The 'breaking of the bone' results in the limpness of the scapegoat's personality so they offer no resistance in becoming the family's 'emotional punchbag' and 'psychological bin.'
The scapegoat's reputation can be purposely tarnished in the outside world by their narcissistic parents so they are perceived as rebellious children to neighbours and friends. This would enable the abusive parents to disguise their vindictive behaviours by 'blaming it all on the tearaway.' The scapegoat's role is to:
What is a victim mentality?
Stop feeling like a victim - 8 tips
The scapegoat's reputation can be purposely tarnished in the outside world by their narcissistic parents so they are perceived as rebellious children to neighbours and friends. This would enable the abusive parents to disguise their vindictive behaviours by 'blaming it all on the tearaway.' The scapegoat's role is to:
- Be denied any comfort.
- Take all responsibility for the family's problems.
- To be constantly abused or ridiculed.
- To support the golden child.
What is a victim mentality?
Stop feeling like a victim - 8 tips
What is the golden child?
Meanwhile, the golden child is stripped of their personal identity and boundaries. If an artist held their self-worth in their artwork, then they would see to it that every detail was perfect due to seeing the finished painting as 'a reflection of themselves.' Similarly, this attention to detail is precisely what the narcissistic parent does to the golden child. Their child's personality only serves to be a blank canvas purely for confirming their own egotistical needs.
In order to live their lives through the golden child, the narcissistic parent must first manipulate them into becoming 'a remote control' or an 'empty vessel' which means that the golden child is:
Betty pushes her daughter's career excessively because she wishes to 'live her life through her.' Betty will choose her daughter's hobbies and life path based upon what she would have liked to accomplish in life. When her golden child achieves something - Betty achieves something. When Betty's golden child fails at something, Betty will either distort the truth of the situation so she won't feel personal failure, or find a way to blame her scapegoat sibling instead. Betty will also force feed her daughter's self-esteem to unrealistic levels so she will constantly transmit whatever success they achieve back to her as a personal victory and achievement.
In order to live their lives through the golden child, the narcissistic parent must first manipulate them into becoming 'a remote control' or an 'empty vessel' which means that the golden child is:
- Stripped of personal boundaries.
- Denied an identity.
- Infantilized.
- Excessively praised.
- Given extreme allowances and privileges.
- Taught that they can do no wrong.
Betty pushes her daughter's career excessively because she wishes to 'live her life through her.' Betty will choose her daughter's hobbies and life path based upon what she would have liked to accomplish in life. When her golden child achieves something - Betty achieves something. When Betty's golden child fails at something, Betty will either distort the truth of the situation so she won't feel personal failure, or find a way to blame her scapegoat sibling instead. Betty will also force feed her daughter's self-esteem to unrealistic levels so she will constantly transmit whatever success they achieve back to her as a personal victory and achievement.
What happens to the golden child?
Throughout their upbringing, the golden child is force-fed excessive arrogant praise for the mediocre tasks that they perform and are made to believe they can do no wrong.
The complete engulfment of having to live an existence to exclusively feed their parent's egotistical needs, cripples the golden child's emotional growth. The essential personality traits such as empathy and humility - the social glue of relationships are amiss. Such inner qualities are simply not cultivated in the golden child because their parents gave them the 'winning medal' without making them do the hard work of running the race.
The complete engulfment of having to live an existence to exclusively feed their parent's egotistical needs, cripples the golden child's emotional growth. The essential personality traits such as empathy and humility - the social glue of relationships are amiss. Such inner qualities are simply not cultivated in the golden child because their parents gave them the 'winning medal' without making them do the hard work of running the race.
The golden child's life afterwards
The golden child's distorted perception of reality continues running as a mental program which is played out in all their relationships with the outside world when they are old enough to function in it. Here, the golden child, who is now a 'golden adult', begins to suffer massive confusion as to why any existence lived away from their narcissistic parent feels psychologically amiss.
The invisible mental reins that once held the golden adult may have been eroded through time but the psychological damage remains and causes them to function in an unbalanced way.
In many instances, the golden adult encounters a similar story to the movie -'The Truman Show', where Jim Carrey's portrayal of the fictional character - 'Truman Burbank' begins to 'sniff out' the illusory life that he was born into and as a result starts seeking the underlying truth behind his life story.
The courageous willingness of the 'Truman Burbanks' of the world to choose true reality in order to gain mental liberation deserves applause. When golden adults get to this point of realization, they willingly digest painful lessons in attempt to discover the most precious thing in life - their true identity. However, after years of distorted perception, such a buried treasure that the golden adult seeks comes with a price. The golden child has to dig with a spade of humility by gradually renouncing their elevated esteem levels and royalty-like entitlement rights as they play catch up in their own emotional development.
The invisible mental reins that once held the golden adult may have been eroded through time but the psychological damage remains and causes them to function in an unbalanced way.
In many instances, the golden adult encounters a similar story to the movie -'The Truman Show', where Jim Carrey's portrayal of the fictional character - 'Truman Burbank' begins to 'sniff out' the illusory life that he was born into and as a result starts seeking the underlying truth behind his life story.
The courageous willingness of the 'Truman Burbanks' of the world to choose true reality in order to gain mental liberation deserves applause. When golden adults get to this point of realization, they willingly digest painful lessons in attempt to discover the most precious thing in life - their true identity. However, after years of distorted perception, such a buried treasure that the golden adult seeks comes with a price. The golden child has to dig with a spade of humility by gradually renouncing their elevated esteem levels and royalty-like entitlement rights as they play catch up in their own emotional development.